Love Like Fire

Kenya is awesome.
I love love love love it here!
So here is a short summary of how my life here has been:

This past week we have been teaching children on the subject of commitment. On my own time with Jesus, I too have been focusing on asking myself how committed I really am to God and my calling. This week has been a much needed week of evaluating my life and who I am in Christ. So here's what I got!

I've learned how GOOD Jesus is to me. How much He really loves. Upon coming to Kenya, I found myself in a lot of confusion because I couldn't figure out for what purpose God wanted me here. I felt like I only came back to fulfill my need of love for this place. For 2 whole weeks I kept asking and asking what God's purpose is for me here.

I STILL DON'T KNOW.

I don't think that I even need to know. The good news is that slowly but surely my perspective on ministry is being RESTORED. Not that I had a bad view on ministry. I was just really tired. Back home, I found myself getting caught up in doing a lot for God and not doing anything with Him. There's a massive difference. I was steering away from His presence unnoticeably. In the ministry work I was doing I was running on physical strength alone. My cup was definitely not running over.

This is the beginning of my 4th week here and God has brought so much restoration, healing, and understanding into my life. My COMPASSION has been completely restored too! (That would be the first thing that Africa will do to you.) I've learned that wherever I am called and placed I need to live, first, abiding in Jesus and making sure I am praising Him and receiving spiritual strength from Him and, second, serving His people with all I have, wholeheartedly. Because that is what I am called to and for. And instead of looking at it as an irritating, impossible and hard thing to do, I now see it as a JOY to SERVE, LOVE and ENCOURAGE people.

I have been replaying this song over and over again this past week. I want people to see His love that is like a fire. I am abandoned to His will and THAT IS WHY I'M HERE! (Now I know :))

Pictures!

Visiting my sponsor child, Lucy, in Mwala, Kenya

Africa

Elephant Orphanage

 Making porridge

Easter Pt. 2: The Relationship—Jesus and Me

I believe that God calls us to more than just to “know” the story. I believe that He calls us to be the story. To be like Jesus.

The greatest way Jesus was united with His Father was through relationship.

re·la·tion·ship: the state of being connected or related.

Jesus was/is connected. Jesus was/is related. And now His personal call for us is to connect to Him. We are related to Him. John 1:12-13, for we are called His children and we are born of Him! He has called us out, He has marked us, all we have to do is receive His gift of freedom and salvation and pursue Him in righteousness. God makes it easy. He opens the door and gives us the option to either deny or accept the invitation. No force, no bribe. Choice. Two feet in past the door we are His. We are now experiencing Him instead of just knowing of Him. We are persevering because we are not quitters. We are accepted because we no longer reject Him. We are in a relationship with Him. We are linked to His heart and now beat the same heartbeat. What He desires, I desire. What I desire, He gives because He is working for my good and His desire is to satisfy me more each day (Psalm 103:5)!

A different kind of relationship. A friendship with a radical bond. This is intimacy with Love Himself.

"Oh to be like You.

To give all I have just to know You.

Jesus there’s no one besides You.

Forever the Hope in my heart."

I Surrender.

Realizing how much I need to surrender before you God. You deserve all of me!
God, I am desperate for you and long to know you more.

Reflection.

I have caught myself reflecting on God's hand in my life lately. I love looking back and seeing how He connected all the dots to lead me to this place in my life. He has been so good and so faithful to me and those around me. Everyday He reveals something different about Himself that makes me love Him even more.

Prior to leaving to Africa for missions, something I was experiencing and kept hearing from God was that I was living a spiritually comfortable life. And that's not what God wants. We all have a different calling in life, I know that mine is to serve in ministry. And at that time I knew God wanted more from me and will always want more. As His people, comfort is no option. Especially when it comes to serving God. Of course, this is easier said than done. 

Arriving in Africa, immediately I began to feel the spiritual difference from my life at home and here. I felt like I couldn't connect with God as easily as I could at home. And because I was homesick and adjusting to the new surroundings I didn't even want to try to understand God. I was mad that He called me to this place and left me. That's how I felt-- alone. I felt like God couldn't understand what I was going through, even though my prayer for the last 3 months was, "God walk before me, I know you are already there preparing the ground for me."

Looking back, I see how easily I gave in to my emotions and fear and how passive I was of God's comforting words, "I am with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).

The first week was the worst for me. On top of being homesick, tired, and adjusting to the new culture I started to see and hear things I never expected. Brokenness, extreme poverty, abandoned children, injured homeless people, etc. Seeing that was the hardest thing. I couldn't understand this new side of God. 

As I was thinking about all this He revealed this to me: God is sovereign in every situation, in every church, in every home, in every part of the world. He is sovereign. No matter what the circumstance-- He is the same God today as He was yesterday. This side of God's heart is so different for me. It's a whole new level of experience-- understanding His love for these people, who mostly are unaware of His sovereignty and movement. That's why He sent me here. To be a part of His movement and His plan for Africa. 

I am learning a lot of what it means to be committed to God. And how far I have to be stretched to understand God's will and love for me. I'm so thankful He put up with me when I wanted to give everything up. I'm thankful when that one night I couldn't take it anymore and kept telling Him that I was sorry I couldn't do what He has called me to do and wanted to go home. I gave up, but He picked me back up and helped me carry the burden. 

This is so worth it. To be called to fulfill His will and to be used by Him. To see how far He keeps bringing me each day. I am so so SO thankful for all of His blessings in my life. Glory to my God who is so good to me!

I love this song by Rita Springer, it's helping me understand God more through these simple lyrics.

Till I See You...

Love this song:

Been playing it over and over again for months! Just can't get enough of it. 
Lately, I've been thinking of what heaven will be like. Telling God that i can't wait. And just imagining a royal and uncomplicated kind of life. Burden-free! And of coarse, eagerly waiting to see Jesus face to face.
And naturally, reality hits. 
Till that day, much is to be done.
He came to seek and save that which was lost (Luke 19:10), and left with a mission for you to go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation (Mark 16:15). God is calling you to seek the lost!
When i start to visualize of heaven, He stops me. Start visualizing revival! Start living out the mission! Keep moving forward in relationship with Him instead of settling for "good enough". 
Living to love Him.
Living to praise Him.
And living in awe of Him.
Simple as that. Living for Jesus, imitating and serving Him. Oh, the good life :)